Post by halonachos on Mar 2, 2016 6:16:43 GMT
I shall revive this thread with some tales of things that I have done in various tabletops. I would like to have you note that in many games I am indeed impervious to my own stupidity, others are not so lucky.
To start I will go with D&D, it's an old school tabletop RPG from what I have gathered.
Our party consisted of a Cleric, a Healer, a Barbarian, and a Rogue. I was the rogue, however I had a great deal of misfortune with my rolls and my rogue was a short, portly, near middleaged man. Still he had charisma like a boss and the GM allowed me to take a glimmering coat or something like that. Basically clothes that could turn into other clothes to help me lie.
This character was a player, boy howdy was he a player. Background was that he worked in a bar/brothel after a life of roguing and met up with the party when they came into the bar/brothel to get a quest from the bar/brothel's owner. The owner was an older player character from a previous campaign, player had power leveled her and well, she was tough and basically ran a small mafia from the place. I got sent along with the party to help them collect money from a wizard in the city, okay all went well. Wizard lived in a small mansion and I managed to talk past the first pair of guards at the mansion's gated entrance (saying something about inspections), then when we got to the pair guarding the actual door to the mansion I tried the same tactic and began to fumble. Considered a bribe but the barbarian went "Urgh fight" and began a fight. We killed a few more guards than we needed to, but eventually made it to the wizard's room where he was engaged in carnal knowledge with his female apprentice. He was shocked, I managed to talk him into giving the money he owed, but the barbarian decided that wasn't enough and killed him anyways. With a sigh I realized that we now had a frightened, blood covered, and naked apprentice staring at this group. I also realized that she had just lost her home, source of income, and any sort of protection because the barbarian just barbarized the wizard.
Being good I decided that I needed to help her, being chaotic good I decided it would be best to put her into the stewardship of the bar/brothel's owner. I then reasoned that the owner could protect her, that she would have a place to live, would have income, and it wasn't like she wasn't unwilling to do the nasty with older men for whatever reason.
The GM mulled it over and decided that it was sufficient reasoning to be chaotic good and to take her into the bar/brothel under the condition that my character had to pay child support for the 3 kids he had with several of the bar/brothel's waitresses.
I had to roll a bluff check to say I loved my kids. I pushed a woman into prostitution because it was for her own good.
Later on I rolled a nat 20 to convince several hags that there was a coven called "The Bitchin' Coven" and my guy was a part of it.
---
In a Star Wars RP my friend and I were stormtroopers on Tatooine. I forget the time period, but it was around the time of Episode 4.
My partner and I were equals and went to the Mos Eisley spaceport due to reports of strange noises coming from behind some cargo crates. My partner wanted to be cautious, but with the description of the noises given it sounded like a dangerous creature so I tossed a thermal detonator behind the crates. A few seconds later the thermal detonator came flying back, the explosion knocked my partner away and slightly wounded me. Next thing I knew a wookie came out and charged me, I fired my weapon and missed multiple times, the wookie began to throttle my character. Luckily my partner came to, fired at the wookie and hit it's shoulder causing it to drop me. The wookie changed it's attention to my partner and I decided to return the favor by shooting at the wookie to save my partner. I ended up shooting my partner and eventually the wookie was subdued by NPC troopers.
My character returned to the station where the GM(an ex Marine) got the pleasure of acting like a true sergeant.
"You threw a thermal detonator in a civilian spaceport because you heard a loud noise?"
"It sounded dangerous"
"You didn't check it out? You didn't think with the one brain cell you have? Must be hard not being able to wipe your own ass."
"I didn't mean to."
"You literally got your partner killed, you fucked up beyond fucking up. Were you dropped on your head? So help me... I need to smoke fill out a report on this datapad by the time I get back."
GM went outside to smoke with the guy playing my partner, I realized I had done goofed. They came back in. I had been given a piece of paper and only had a crayon to write with at the time, I wrote 'I am sorry, I didn't mean to kill my partner. I thought there was something dangerous and illegal behind the crate so I threw a grenade"
The GM read the paper. "You... you wrote ON the fucking datapad. IN FUCKING CRAYON! How did you get out of the academy? I bet the instructors pushed you out because they thought you'd get yourself killed and they thought it would be funny. Give me your fucking blaster and your detonator pouch. Fuck it, give me your entire utility belt."
I didn't get my belt back until two sessions later and then I only got a blaster from the academy set to stun only. The guy playing my partner got promoted to be above me.
Later on I tried to convince an AI program in an old Jedi temple that I was a Jedi. It didn't work. I also managed to run into a Jedi, I shut a door behind me and shot the mechanism to lock it. As I rested against it a light saber shot through the door next to my guy's head, he pissed his pants and ran half a mile away. Not a very brave trooper.
----
In rogue trader I got kicked out of a Mechanicus temple because I asked our tech adept "Who's the head toaster around here?". They spoke binary AND low gothic. I didn't know that.
We also had an encounter with another NPC rogue trader that we had saved from a decently armed Eldar ship. I was in the gun deck after bravely ordering the crew to work faster when our Rogue trader and the NPC rogue trader began talking. I asked who it was and they said it was one of the one's in the actual book. She was fairly buxom and I commented on that. Next thing I know my GM goes, "Who said that?" I of course said I did, I didn't realize that we were kinda talking in character and not out of character and that I had said she had big tits over the channel while our Rogue Trader was talking to her.
I had a restraining order put on my character as part of any further deals, minimum distance was "bayonet's length".
Arm wrestled an ork and did a backflip when he flipped me over the table, stuck the landing. Really impressed a drunk Navigator.
To start I will go with D&D, it's an old school tabletop RPG from what I have gathered.
Our party consisted of a Cleric, a Healer, a Barbarian, and a Rogue. I was the rogue, however I had a great deal of misfortune with my rolls and my rogue was a short, portly, near middleaged man. Still he had charisma like a boss and the GM allowed me to take a glimmering coat or something like that. Basically clothes that could turn into other clothes to help me lie.
This character was a player, boy howdy was he a player. Background was that he worked in a bar/brothel after a life of roguing and met up with the party when they came into the bar/brothel to get a quest from the bar/brothel's owner. The owner was an older player character from a previous campaign, player had power leveled her and well, she was tough and basically ran a small mafia from the place. I got sent along with the party to help them collect money from a wizard in the city, okay all went well. Wizard lived in a small mansion and I managed to talk past the first pair of guards at the mansion's gated entrance (saying something about inspections), then when we got to the pair guarding the actual door to the mansion I tried the same tactic and began to fumble. Considered a bribe but the barbarian went "Urgh fight" and began a fight. We killed a few more guards than we needed to, but eventually made it to the wizard's room where he was engaged in carnal knowledge with his female apprentice. He was shocked, I managed to talk him into giving the money he owed, but the barbarian decided that wasn't enough and killed him anyways. With a sigh I realized that we now had a frightened, blood covered, and naked apprentice staring at this group. I also realized that she had just lost her home, source of income, and any sort of protection because the barbarian just barbarized the wizard.
Being good I decided that I needed to help her, being chaotic good I decided it would be best to put her into the stewardship of the bar/brothel's owner. I then reasoned that the owner could protect her, that she would have a place to live, would have income, and it wasn't like she wasn't unwilling to do the nasty with older men for whatever reason.
The GM mulled it over and decided that it was sufficient reasoning to be chaotic good and to take her into the bar/brothel under the condition that my character had to pay child support for the 3 kids he had with several of the bar/brothel's waitresses.
I had to roll a bluff check to say I loved my kids. I pushed a woman into prostitution because it was for her own good.
Later on I rolled a nat 20 to convince several hags that there was a coven called "The Bitchin' Coven" and my guy was a part of it.
---
In a Star Wars RP my friend and I were stormtroopers on Tatooine. I forget the time period, but it was around the time of Episode 4.
My partner and I were equals and went to the Mos Eisley spaceport due to reports of strange noises coming from behind some cargo crates. My partner wanted to be cautious, but with the description of the noises given it sounded like a dangerous creature so I tossed a thermal detonator behind the crates. A few seconds later the thermal detonator came flying back, the explosion knocked my partner away and slightly wounded me. Next thing I knew a wookie came out and charged me, I fired my weapon and missed multiple times, the wookie began to throttle my character. Luckily my partner came to, fired at the wookie and hit it's shoulder causing it to drop me. The wookie changed it's attention to my partner and I decided to return the favor by shooting at the wookie to save my partner. I ended up shooting my partner and eventually the wookie was subdued by NPC troopers.
My character returned to the station where the GM(an ex Marine) got the pleasure of acting like a true sergeant.
"You threw a thermal detonator in a civilian spaceport because you heard a loud noise?"
"It sounded dangerous"
"You didn't check it out? You didn't think with the one brain cell you have? Must be hard not being able to wipe your own ass."
"I didn't mean to."
"You literally got your partner killed, you fucked up beyond fucking up. Were you dropped on your head? So help me... I need to smoke fill out a report on this datapad by the time I get back."
GM went outside to smoke with the guy playing my partner, I realized I had done goofed. They came back in. I had been given a piece of paper and only had a crayon to write with at the time, I wrote 'I am sorry, I didn't mean to kill my partner. I thought there was something dangerous and illegal behind the crate so I threw a grenade"
The GM read the paper. "You... you wrote ON the fucking datapad. IN FUCKING CRAYON! How did you get out of the academy? I bet the instructors pushed you out because they thought you'd get yourself killed and they thought it would be funny. Give me your fucking blaster and your detonator pouch. Fuck it, give me your entire utility belt."
I didn't get my belt back until two sessions later and then I only got a blaster from the academy set to stun only. The guy playing my partner got promoted to be above me.
Later on I tried to convince an AI program in an old Jedi temple that I was a Jedi. It didn't work. I also managed to run into a Jedi, I shut a door behind me and shot the mechanism to lock it. As I rested against it a light saber shot through the door next to my guy's head, he pissed his pants and ran half a mile away. Not a very brave trooper.
----
In rogue trader I got kicked out of a Mechanicus temple because I asked our tech adept "Who's the head toaster around here?". They spoke binary AND low gothic. I didn't know that.
We also had an encounter with another NPC rogue trader that we had saved from a decently armed Eldar ship. I was in the gun deck after bravely ordering the crew to work faster when our Rogue trader and the NPC rogue trader began talking. I asked who it was and they said it was one of the one's in the actual book. She was fairly buxom and I commented on that. Next thing I know my GM goes, "Who said that?" I of course said I did, I didn't realize that we were kinda talking in character and not out of character and that I had said she had big tits over the channel while our Rogue Trader was talking to her.
I had a restraining order put on my character as part of any further deals, minimum distance was "bayonet's length".
Arm wrestled an ork and did a backflip when he flipped me over the table, stuck the landing. Really impressed a drunk Navigator.